The Truth About Sadie
by play for keeps
Summary: Everyone knows Sadie and Katie are best friends. Practically twins! But no one really knows that Sadie secretly hates Katie...and herself. Angsty one-shot!


Everyone knew Katie and Sadie were best friends, ever since they were born. They were glued to the hip, shared a brain, and were Siamese twins.

But in reality…

Sadie knew she wasn't Katie's twin. She knew quite well that she was just a fat, ugly, girl who everyone made fun of behind her back. She didn't see up front that people made fun of her weight, or her squinty eyes, or her greasy hair, but she _knew_ that people were mocking her. Who wouldn't when all of them were lithe, skinny, and in shape, laughing and smiling that they could flaunt their toned bodies out in public, while she was desperate to shed out of her skin like a snake and transform into a new body that everyone would be envious of.

If only she had a body like…Katie's.

Secretly, Sadie harbored an intense jealousy of her best friend. Of course she still liked Katie, but at times she despised her. Katie was tall and skinny; model material. Standing next to her, Sadie was always "the fat friend"; never good enough, never pretty enough, and certainly not confident in her plus-sized appearance.

When they shopped at the mall, boys would check out Katie, but never Sadie. She'd push her disappointment to the bottom of her stomach.

When they went to the pool, boys would whistle at Katie, but never Sadie. She'd regret wearing a matching bikini like Katie.

When they were in 8th grade, 5 boys asked out Katie for homecoming, and all of them asked her when she was next to Sadie. When Katie turned them down, they would lifelessly glance at Sadie, and then walk away. Sadie was just a large, annoying tumor connected to Katie's side that would never disappear; because wherever Katie went, Sadie followed.

It was like lurking behind your best friend's shadow, but Sadie's shadow always swallowed Katie's.

Sadie remembered a time when she wasn't overweight, though. Growing up as a kid, she was skinny just like Katie, although a little on the curvy side. She was a carefree child who loved to play tic-tac-toe outside and ride her bike. She loved to swim and play hide and seek in her cul-de-sac with Katie and her neighborhood friends. It was a very simple and cheerful life.

Until she turned 11.

It all happened so fast. Sadie had just blown out the candles to her vanilla birthday cake at home when the phone rang. Sadie's mother answered it while her father took pictures of Katie throwing icing on Sadie's face. Her mother's cheerful demeanor quickly turned sour as she slowly put the phone back in the cradle, her face as grave as a stone. Sadie's father noticed the strange look on her face.

"What's the matter, Karen?" he asked tentatively.

Katie and Sadie looked at Karen, puzzled.

"Can Momo not make it?" Sadie pouted, annoyed that her 65 year old grandmother was 30 minutes late. "She told me my present was really good!"

"Your—" Karen struggled for words and then broke down in tears, alarming the entire room. "Your grandfather said she slipped down the stairs and hit her head…and she's not breathing…Sadie she's not-"

But Sadie drowned out her mother's voice from the wailing of her own. It was from that moment on that every birthday would be a painful reminder of never seeing Momo again, and every birthday she would binge eat. She would never see the Momo who spoiled Sadie rotten and gave her everything she wanted. Who took her and Katie on trips to the aquarium and the zoo. Who let Sadie sleep over her house and read her bed-times stories when she was 4. Who kissed her on the forehead goodnight and made chocolate chip pancakes in the morning, smiling at her granddaughter through slight wrinkles. Sadie would've done anything to have her grandmother back, but it just wasn't possible.

After her grandmother's death, Sadie fell into a depression. She turned to food as her comfort, to numb the pain of loneliness and heartache. Food made her happy before because it was so delicious, so food could get her through the pain and make her happy again. But after she ate, Sadie would go back to sobbing on her bed, so she would grab another Tastykake and doughnut and continue to eat. And when she was done eating those she felt lousy once more. The hole in her stomach erupted again and she would find other munchies and junk food to devour.

Within a year, Sadie gained 30 pounds. Her mother noticed the change but thought it was a phase, and Katie never once mentioned anything. Food was just too tempting, too sweet, too mouthwatering, and it was just _there_! Sadie knew she was gaining weight and wanted to stop, but she couldn't. Even after she got over her grandmother passing, she never realized how tasty food was, and how it could make you feel better. If she failed a test, she gobbled up ice cream. If she got a pimple, there was chocolate. When she cried in front of the mirror at her hideous arm rolls, she ate cinnamon buns.

At 15 she was 5'3 and 170 pounds and hated it. She wasn't just curvy anymore; she was starting to get _fat_. Her face became fuller, and she had to buy all new pants in a size 16 and throw out her size 7's.

She wore the same clothes as Katie because she wanted to give herself the confidence she longed for. So what if she was a big blob next to a walking stick, she wanted to look good and feel good too. But who was she kidding when she cried in her room, glaring at her reflection and inhaling a whole bag of Hertz's pretzels?

Now at 18 and 200 pounds and counting, she loathed her appearance even more: double chin, bulky legs, and thick, pudgy fingers. And through the years, Katie still managed to be a pole. Sometimes, she prayed at night that Katie would wake up as an obese woman so she wouldn't feel second best anymore. And sometimes she hated Katie simply because Katie never once asked if she was ok after her grandmother's death. Sure, she asked when they went to the funeral, but Katie never asked if there was a reason why Sadie was gaining weight. And for that, Sadie resented Katie. She knew Katie loved being the skinny one out of the two because it made Katie look good. If she hung out with other pretty girls, there would be more competition to get a guy's attention, so someone had to look like an ugly duckling next to Katie the Diva.

Sadie always hated gossiping about Trent and Justin with Katie, too, because she knew they would fall for Katie over the girl with the fat rolls any day; it was so obvious. She wouldn't pick a girl who was twice the size of both boys combined either. It was Common Sense 101.

One Direction's "Kiss You" blasted from Sadie's phone, jolting her awake and bulldozing through the woeful thoughts that plagued her head like a cancer. She had dozed off on her bed after waiting for Katie to call like she promised.

Sadie answered the phone in a whiny "Katieeee!"

"Sadieeeee!" Katie playfully whined back.

"You were supposed to call, like, 20 minutes ago! What were you doing?"

"Stalking Trent on Facebook, what else?!" Katie squealed.

"Oh," Sadie said with no emotion.

"He is totes adorbs! Anyway, we're still on for dress shopping tomorrow, right? We're gonna be, like, the prettiest girls at Bridgette's bachelorette party in Vegas!"

_Prettiest girls…_

"Yeah, we're still on," Sadie said hesitantly, but then perked up. "But Geoff is like, such a cutie for proposing to Bridgette! I wish someone could propose to meeeeee."

"I told you, we're marrying Trent together!" Katie giggled and Sadie couldn't help but join in. "Oh yeah, happy birthday!"

"What?" Sadie asked in confusion.

"It's your birthday, duh! I know it's midnight and everything but I wanted to say it—"

Sadie dropped the phone on the floor, a burning sensation hitting her eyes. Ignoring the gnawing feeling in her stomach, she ducked under her bed and grabbed the jumbo bag of unopened Cheese Curls_,_ ripping it open and jamming handfuls of the cheesy snack into her mouth through a haze of dread and euphoria. She then lunged for her phone and hung up on Katie's frantic voice and whimpered as she crammed the food in her mouth, sobbing.

Her eyes traveled to her reflection in the mirror: a waste of space with a red face stuffing her mouth like a savage; a hippo who didn't even want to wear the right sized clothes because she was convincing herself she looked fine, even though her boobs were spilling out her skimpy tank-top; a worthless girl who would never get a date because she would smother him with her fat.

And despite all these terrible thoughts, she continued to eat.

* * *

**Sadie is definitely not my favorite character, but I figured since Total Drama is all based on stereotypes, you would think she'd be insecure about being the bigger friend even though she and Katie are 'twins'. Please review :)**


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